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I’m in an Abusive Relationship with my Country

Dear Ireland,

I’m sorry to have to say this but we need to break up.

You see I just finished reading this book called “Why Does He Do That? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men” and I now realise that I am in an abusive relationship.

With you.

See abusers have a sense of entitlement, and you have that Ireland, you really do. You think it’s ok to treat women like second class citizens, to lock up asylum seekers, to allow the elderly, disabled and children in care to be abused when you’re supposed to be looking after them, you think it’s ok to expect Irish people to pay twice for wateryou make racist jokes and you think it’s ok to discriminate against children who aren’t Catholics.

I know now all of these things are indicative of your deeply held sense of entitlement.

Abusers also have a core belief in inequality and again Ireland, you have that in spades. Women are  woefully underrepresented in politics (and other positions of power), paid less than men and have their right to bodily autonomy taken away from them when pregnant. Not much equality there Ireland. Can you see how unfair you are?

Plus you really aren’t respectful of my body, like when I’m pregnant you have more say in what happens in and to my body than I do. You can even force me to stay pregnant against my will, force feed me, touch my body and even cut me open – all against my will.

Other countries recognise that legally as assault, torture even.

I have less rights than a corpse around you Ireland and that really sucks. I mean who in their right mind would actually want to stay in a relationship with someone that would hold all that over you? Someone WHO WOULD ACTUALLY DO THOSE THINGS TO YOU. And if I try and reclaim my body you threaten to lock me up and take away my freedom. That’s pretty dark Ireland. You’re in a dark place.

Abusers have no respect for their partners and you clearly have no respect for me. I’ve seen the way you treat other women too, you just don’t give a shit about us do you? I’m worried about my daughters, growing up with you. Will you treat them as harshly as you’ve treated me? Will they have to go through what I and the women in your past have gone through?

I’m pretty angry Ireland. I’m bloody wild about how you’ve been treating me and I’m not going to let you get away with it. I’m going to keep telling everyone what a shit you are until you change your abusive ways.

All I want is some basic respect and access to my human rights. I can’t believe you continue to deny me them.


A Woman of Ireland.

About Taryn de Vere

Queen of colour. Joy Bringer, writer, parent and artist.

3 responses »

  1. Ireland seems more like a third world nation or Middle Eastern theocracy than part of the Western world. I wouldn’t want to live there.

  2. The country is beautiful – green-lush-plenty to explore…yes, indeed just like its history…and of course that one is pretty dark but which history is not…and a lot of people that are meant to lead by example in this country have no clue how to keep their shit together so what they do is…keep on continuing the same old shit…with the same old attitude towards women…but also men…I have experienced both… and yes, there is plenty of shit going on…and frankly I am delighted that this dirty old carpet is finally lifting…so that the shit swept under can be released…because Ireland has been a deeply religiously indoctrinated – conditioned country…and so much has changed ever since I moved here…and that s over 10 years ago…I researched and wrote my thesis on the Magdalene Asylums…and realized…hang on a minute…this is not just an Irish phenomenon…it is an all world phenomenon…men and women have always treated each other disrespectfully…and visa versa so that the vicious circle could happily continue…and that disguised behind institutions…Church…State…Governments…Universities…Asylums…anywhere the same doctrines were preached…and that by a patriarchal attitude that I have often heard from women too…and I am not blaming or shaming anyone here! All I am pointing out that WE all WoMen…sit in the very same boat – that s what Humanity is these days… and I guarantee you…wherever you go…you will take your PAST -Your History – Your Country wherever you come from with you…so it s Time to Make Peace with Her…make Peace with Ireland…She needs as much forgiveness as yourself and the rest of the people of Ireland.

    Be the Change You so want to see in the world!

    A woman from the world!

    • DD, we’ve edited your comment to remove a deeply offensive and unacceptable phrase. We realise that it is a well-known phrase and that you meant no offence by it, but John Lennon was a white man and it wasn’t his word to use or his analogy to make.


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